I watched American Hustle, it’s the second ‘American (insert any word here)’ movie that Christian Bale has made. I lasted the whole way through it because I was with my roommate and didn’t want to lose face by absconding to my basement to review text messages from the day. The end result is he was not offended and I lost two hours of my life. At least it had a happy ending so I could get all stoked at the end of the movie. Sad endings suck my nuts and you just can’t trust these ‘based on a true story’ movies with happy endings because of entropy and stuff like that. Nobody dies in this movie, though. I only mention it because that woulda made it better, if everyone would just drop dead.
So the plot of the movie is that Christian Bale and Bradley Cooper want to see who is the best actor so they start yuckin it up but in the end it turns out Amy Adams is prolly better than both of them, well, she’s at least hotter than both of them, at least in this movie, at least in most of the scenes… some of the scenes. Christian bale is stiff competition for hotness in this movie, he gained like 40 pounds for the role by eating bacon, but his neck is still thinner than his chin so fuck him. He shoulda pounded some peptides, suppository style.
I feel like parts of this movie were ad-libbed because I think Jennifer Lawrence drops a reference that isn’t supposed to exist yet in the 70‘s: Power Rangers or Ghost Busters or something. If you can spot the ad-libs then they ain’t good ad-libs methinks. Bradley Cooper had the best ad-libs, though, so I guess he wins that battle. I don’t think Christian Bale ad libbed anything, maybe that’s just his style. If he did ad lib something it means he tricked me so good for him that’s a good ad lib. Good job, Christian.
There was one pretty sweet thing about this movie. Christian Bale’s character, he’s a con man and his main dealio is to deny people so they want his services more. He keeps doing that through the entire movie, even when it makes little to no sense. it’s almost like it’s his characters go to reaction, to just be a naysayer. So THEN, at the very end there is a cool payoff with this tactic, because by then you’ve forgotten that that’s what he’s all about and instead you just annoyed at all his naysaying. And this will be the final straw of naysaying, you think. but no, he’s playing some fool out of nowhere like a champ. Happy ending.
The thing about con movies and heist movies is that they usually build to a cool climax, but the whole movie building up to it is stupid as fuck. That is also the case with American Hustle.
In conclusion I hate the 70‘s. I’ve done lots of cross referencing to isolate variables in a complicated situation and concluded objectively that the 70′s suck my nuts. Better than Travers.